Ayah's Day; 30th of January.







CONGRATULATIONS AHMAD HUZAIFAH!
Chey. Dah graduate sei! Gaji besar pe?!

CONGRATULATIONS HAZLINDA!
NYP or what?! We shall go break together okay! Find a day in a week.

I still feel you there, trying to get on top.

Ayah’s Day in advance.

Alright Radin Shazwani! Let’s not get fuss over something not small. Forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it. Forget about it. Okay, okay! For-get-a-bout-it, I get it!

So Diana and I self-proclaimed that today’s our last day of school. Oh yeay! Now that all modules are down, I’m left with 2 modules for common test and another 3 modules for semester examinations. And last Wednesday was my official no-more-projects day.

Ayah will be turning to his 45th birthday tomorrow (which is in less then 30 minutes time). So, Happy Birthday Ayah! You’re the greatest dad in the whole wide world! I love you!

So I guess we're gonna celebrate Ayah's birthday tomorrow and since I'm not schooling and sister's not working, we'll plan it out perfectly for our dearest Ayah.

Oh! Anterine just called to say that she’s not going for tomorrow’s lesson too when I told her Diana and me not going. Nice! They are my bestest classmate ever! HAHA.

And I’ve always been true..

Friday.

My Programming Technique Lecturer is not doing a great job in handling interviews. Seriously. Like yesterday, we've waited for more than 2 hours for our project submission interview but we end up submitting and interviewing nothing!

We were told to submit on Wednesday instead cause it's almost 5pm and that he wants to go home at that time. If I knew that this would happen, I'd already go home straight after my Maths lecture which ends at 11am.

So I head off to AMKHub and meet Nabilah and Noriz which then we go to McDonald and had Prosperity Burger cause I was terribly hungry. I mean it, veryvery hungry.

Afterwhich we went back to school to support Ismail for his soccer match. Which of course I'm proud of him as he played so well and because he's my *clearthroats* 6 years and still counting bestfriend too. HAHA!

And the nicest thing of all is NYP won over RP. 5-2 okay! Oh yeay! Well of course, NYP's the best. HAHA!






Well, that's how I focused watching soccer. I'd go as bad as ignoring others who's trying to talk to me okay.





And when the match is over, I'd go tired easily.

Saturday.

I had fun yesterday. I've always love having a meet up with Muhammad Firdaus. It's so nice meeting him after 6 days.

And it has always been fun with Nabilah and Fahmi to tag us along too. I've always love an outing like this.









Then I saw what I shouldn't see. Thousand apologies for the bad ending Nabilah and Fahmi. But whatever it is, it's over. I still love you, Muhammad Firdaus, as much as I did before. That, I swear. And get well soon okay?

And oh. MUHAMMAD FIRDAUS! Sing me that song posted on my blog please! HAHA!

Knowing nothing is better that knowing at all..

I'm happy today.

So I'm back home and I see 3 families in the living room. They came here to merisik my sister. It's nice you know.

After everything done, Ayah gave me a box from Golden Chance and yes, it's a necklace. I guess Ayah had hit a big contract this time. Thank you Allah for everything.

Each of us has got different type of necklace. Mama's, oh my. I see, I speechless. HAHA. Happy kay.

Other that that, Anterine saw my picture with Muhammad Firdaus and she says, "Eh.. Both of you got the couple look sei.." That's why I'm happy. =D

Haha. Nice right? I know. Go roll your eyes readers, I don't care. HAHA.

And finally, I'm completing my Mini Project. I just received a message from Mr Timothy to do demo on our project and print out our codes. Tiring kay.

I've been skipping a lot of tutorials and lectures lately. I skipped not for fun but to complete on my project. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a good girl. A good girl to my parents and to Muhammad Firdaus. HAHA.

I went to ITE Ang Mo Kio to accompany Diana see her teacher for Nabilah's group project. I was excited at first cause I've never been to any ITEs before. So apart from accompanying them, I wanna have a feel how's life in ITE.

Well, not really "how's life" but I wanna know the atmosphere in there. So we walked and walked and walked till we reached at a few metres away from the big gate, then I somehow feel nervous.

I was looking at the ground most of the time while Ummai looked at me(with intention not to attract any minahreps eyes). Suddenly I heard, "HEY!". Then I look up and I saw this very familiar guy. And it's Din whom I'm not close to when we're in secondary school. He talked like as if we're a close friend kay!

Then we continue walking in which after a few steps I heard another "HEY!". This time I "HEY!" back cause I know him well. Fariz! It's been so long the last time I saw him kay!

So yeah. Then I got to feel studying in ITE class. You know what? Those students were to do their projects and all but what I heard is only music from handphones and computers and background music from playing games. Veryvery slack you know.

What an experience! All thanks to Diana which if not, until today I'm an ITE Virgin. What a word, Ony!

Now I'm speechless..

Another module down.


Engineering Mathematics
Complementary Mathematics
Engineering Drawing
Programming Techniques
Digital Electronics
Digital Electronics Project
Electrical Circuits
PCB Design & Prototyping
Creativity & Innovation






That's my PCB Design & Prototyping project. It worked perfectly fine. Which of course, Diana is my biggest helper. I owe her a lot! Thanks a million Diana!

So I am done with Digital Electronic Project, Creativity and Innovation Project and PCB Project. Now I'm left with only one project, Programming Technique-which is due this week. Oh no! I haven't even start on it.

Today I had a very good laugh with Anterine and Diana. I love disturbing Anterine with Siao-bem. Haha!

Anyway, I asked help from Hazlami which he asked help from Mr Jason for Programming Technique Project. Haha. It's difficult okay.

I told Muhammad Firdaus about that sick ITE guy who followed me wherever I go and that sick bike rider who still disturbs me even when I'm with Mama at that time. Then Muhammad Firdaus told me not to create trouble cause I belongs to him only. HAHA! Adorable. Very adorable boyfriend.

And I missed him. =(

I know I'm stronger now..

Another 5 painful days.

Muhammad Firdaus is booking in very soon. Time flies so fast when he's out of camp. I hate that.



And I'm sad. =(


Ku mahu kau tahu
Engkaulah destinasiku
Dalam ingatanku..

Dan aku, ku tunggu..
Disitu. -BunkFace(Situasi)

In these situation..

After 10 days.






And so I've promised Muhammad Firdaus not to post his botak hair picture here. Tell me I'm good Muhammad Firdaus. Not to worry Nabilah, I'll show you the picture tomorrow okay!

Finally we got Nora her birthday present. It's a bag from Animal and Muhammad Firdaus chose it. I love the bag(!!!). Next is Nadia's turn. And Syaf too. Okay, Syaf's first. Oh no!

My intention to treat him yesterday all gone to that birthday present. Next week okay Muhammad Firdaus! I promise! Maybe I'll get him another pack of Milk Chocolate Biscuits from Marks&Spencer again for him to bring in for his next book in. Okay maybe I should. This time it won't go lemau kay!

Cause there's no Mars, Maltesers, Dove, M&M, Snickers, Skittles, and a lot more for him to bring in anymore. Haha! He gets upset when I told him that these chocolate contain rennet in it.

It's funny how he shared his first week of NS life story with me. With one of his mate wailing "i want my mummy". He slammed his head to the cupboard. His bunk mate fall to the floor while sleeping cause he usually had his bed bigger size then that. And the most funniest is his bunk mate do sleep walking; you imagine early in the morning, he shouted asking his mates to fall in! Oh my.

And Muhammad Firdaus don't let me be a policewoman cause they're rough. But now I'm already rough what! Haha!

So yes, it's nice having dinner with his friends too. And the nicest thing about yesterday is I get to see Muhammad Firdaus(with his botak hair)! And now I can't wait for next week.

That beautiful day..

My Mr Policeman is back.

I'm the happiest girl on earth. Muhammad Firdaus is back! But then he'll be going off again soon. =( Now he went to Bedok Corner for dinner with his NS mates.

So anyway, I planned to skip for Complementary Maths lesson but I end up being absent for the whole day yesterday. Bad girl.

But today I did go to school. I came for Programming Techniques and Engineering Drawing lab test. It's attemtaple for Engineering Drawing but not for Programming Techniques. I guess I need to go for the re-test. Well at least they conduct retest. If not I'm dead.


Engineering Mathematics
Complementary Mathematics
Engineering Drawing
Programming Techniques
Digital Electronics
Digital Electronics Project
Electrical Circuits
PCB Design & Prototyping


YEAY! Another module down. So now I don't need to attend those slashed lessons anymore.

Tell me you'll remember..

Another make up lesson.

Do you know how it feels like going home alone at night all the way from Nanyang Poly to Bedok Reservoir?

It's so creeepy! In school, you'll feel as though you're so alone when there's still a couple of your mates behind you. Furthermore, I took 45 home. And it passes by some unfamiliar places which made me think that I got the wrong bus. Lucky the bus is 45 for if not, sesat!

I cannot sleep well. I'm awake late at night. I'm awake early in the morning. Wanted to watch that DVD Nabilah lend me which might help sang me to sleep but I don't think it'll help. Instead, it'll make me go fresher focusing on the story line.

I'm schooling later. At 11am. And it'll not end at 2pm(like usual) but 5pm. Another make up lesson.

So I told best friends I am not gonna join them today. Furthermore I got a lot more projects to be done.

And oh, Rabit coming over to my house today.



Yes. That's my new short hair. And now I'm all alone at home.

3 more days to weekend. Oh yeay!

It's not a perfect life that we all live in, but we are living..

I hate today.

I am in school. It's almost 6pm now and I'm still in school.




I have lessons from 8am-8pm, remember?

Suddenly I long for you, my only love..

Another ordinary day.

I had my hair cut.
=(

Congratulations Syaf and Haz. Told you I believe you can make it. Haz! NYP uh! Okay? We go break together if we have the chance to. HAHA!

And Muhammad Firdaus ever mentioned that his POP might be either on the 8th or 15th of May. 8th of May please!

I can wait forever..

Oh Dearest Love.


Muhammad Firdaus!
It's our day today.
It's our day today.
It's our day today.
It's our day today.
It's our day today.
It's our day today.
And you're not here with me.


Muhammad Firdaus doesn't want me to cry or even hate him therefore he gave me an early 2nd monthsary wish yesterday night.

Yes. It's sad that both of us couldn't celebrate our day together. So I guess, I'll play You'll Be Safe Here over and over again today.

Can I skipped Monday to Friday? Forward the time to the next weekend so by that time, he'll be out of camp. Can I? How I wish.

And till today, he still complains how sucky the food there was. Therefore I promised him that I'm gonna treat him to nice but cheap foods. HAHA!

Another day without you with me..

Last warning; Don't read!

Saya berbual macam org happy dengan Muhammad Firdaus tadi.
Tetapi sebenarnya saya tidak.
Kerana saya tidak mahu dia worry.
Baikkan saya?
Saya tahu!
Saya miss dia sangat-sangat.
Dia?
Dia menelefon saya sambil polish boot tadi.
Dia berbual macam org gila.
At last dia panggil saya gila juga.
Bunk mate dia pun sama gila seperti dia.
Senang cakap semua orang lah gila.
Betul tidak?!
Okay. Tidak betul.
Dia seorang sahajalah yang gila.
Dan dia telah spread disease gila dia kepada saya.
Iaitu disease;
"Gilakan dia."
Jahat eh dia!
Minta kena tendang tau!
Kerana dia saya gila.
Saya post pun sudah macam orang gila.
Astaghfirullah!

In conclusion, Radin Shazwani misses Muhammad Firdaus a lot. =(

In times like this..

Staying as strong as ever.

I'll be schooling from 8am to 8pm next Tuesday. Can you believe that? Sick teachers!


An overdue picture in lab with Anterine and Diana.



My phone is sick. I guess my phone too have this “demam rindu” sickness. All this time I’ve been contacting Muhammad Firdaus using Mama’s, Sisters’ and Nabilah’s phone. Thank you a lot people!

I love it when Muhammad Firdaus counts down how many days left till the day he book out, for me every night before he had his lights off when actually I'm the one who supposed to do it for him. He's sucha strong man. So it'll be a week more now. Oh yeay!

And I love it too when he SMS me every morning just to tell me that he had his breakfast and his training is gonna start soon. And uh, during random breaks too! Okay stop.

He says he’ll come running to me for our next meet up. HAHA! Cute kan ni anak? And oh, he’s gotten his uniform! I’m so gonna see him in Police uniform one day! I can’t wait!

Well I wish him for the best over there. Oh no! Why am I keep talking about Muhammad Firdaus? Let's get busy!

It's been 4 days and I'm missing you already..

National Service, I hate you.

Tell you all what. Muhammad Firdaus is my bestest boyfriend ever! Cause you know why? Let’s go by example. Did any of your boyfriend treat your best friends to movies (which that includes drinks, popcorns and nacho chips) a day before he went to serve the nation? Anyone?

Cause my boyfriend did just that. He treats Nabilah, Fahmi and me for Bedtime Stories movie. He really did spend a lot for me; from taxi rides to foods to everything. I appreciate it all.








And that’s the last time he’s gonna fetch me off from school.

I’ve always hate it when we reaching my home all these days when I’m with him. Cause from there we parted. Yesterday is the day I hate the most. Cause I know we’re gonna be away from each other for a very long painful 10 days. And you know what? I hate no. 10 for now.

I’m strong. But I’m not as strong as I used to for yesterday night. I don’t wish to cry in front of him. But I couldn’t fight my own feeling. It’s too strong and yes feelings, you defeated me. Three cheers for my feelings! -___-

And because of that, I made him worry.

I calmed down after he assures me what he supposed to. I couldn’t really sleep so at 4 in the morning, I started messaging him. A few seconds after I press on ‘send’ button, my phone vibrates and it’s a message from him. I read and I break down.

It says;
“Baby.. i can’t sleep.. I dun wan to leave u for the 10 days.. but i noe its impossible.. I feel like crying nw.. n jus to let u noe i hold my tears when i hug u juz nw n i burst into tears the time u walk to ur hse at ur corridor when i was standing at the lift lobby.. i noe i sound like a sissy but i dun care.. i too in love wif u very much.. only god now how painful my heart feel rite nw..i regret 4 nt spending enuff time 4 u.. niwae.. sorry to disturb u sleepin.. hope u have a gd nite sleep.. n dun wary bout me kae.. i will b fine.. i love u my preety princess.. mwuarckz!!”

You all tell me how can I not break down? HOW?! That is so saddening okay!

This time we attempt to calm each other down. And I hope I did my job well, cause he did so well this time. So I took a short nap then get ready for school.

On the way out, I received another message from him asking me where am I and all. I replied him which I doubt he received my reply therefore he message me this.

“baby.. u lom bangun..? sorie if im disturbing u.. but i need you nw for the last few mins.. tkpe la.. jus tc of yourself kae.. i love u so much!! mwuarckz!!”

Again I break down but this time I lied telling him that I’m okay. At the same time I tried consoling him assuring that everything’s going to be alright. It’s difficult. You imagine; you yourself feeling so heartbreaking to see him go then you gotta act and lie of your own feeling and tell him that he gotta be strong to face all this while you yourself is weak.

This time I cried like hell and make people around stare at me giving confirm-dapat-result-pregnant-then-jantan-lari-tinggalkan look. And by that time I reached school so I have my friends to cheer me up. I swear they care for me like I’m so fragile.

Except for Faizal! He said something about ‘current’ gun then they have to try it out to their own body at 1 volt. He mentioned that some can make it, some cannot. Which that reminds me of Muhammad Firdaus message.

It says;
“ok.. i trust u.. u pun have to trust me kae tat i b fine there.. i really wish to b by urside there whole time.. as i said.. i promise to call u bile2 possible kae.. u take gd care of urself kae.. sape bully tell me nanty i tembak dier.. haha.. da la u tkmo nangis lagy kae.. don ask bout me.. hee.. baby.. im really sorie bout everythin I done bad to u during our relationship.. i noe im nt yet to ur expectation.. i try to change n make it up to u kae.. mwuarckz!!”

Heard that Faizal? He’s gonna shoot you! BOO! And who else wanna bully me? Come! Okay I’m trying to joke and make myself happy here. Don’t mind me readers.

And thank you a lot Nabilah for being there always. I appreciate it all tau!

Muhammad Firdaus wants me not to be sad and be happy always while he’s not around. How can I do that? But for him, I’ll try my best. Cause I believe he’ll be back. 10 days is chicken feet. I’ll wait for you my Mr Policeman!

Right now he complains how ugly he looks with botak head and how sucky the food taste there. Haha! Sucha cute thing!

While I told him I haven’t even had my bath since I’ve been home at 7 just now just to wait for his calls. He says that I’m smelly. I ask how can he smell me. Then he says, “I’m in your heart remember?!” Oh yes of course! How can I forget about that! Stupidnya Ony!

So I’ll be safe wherever I go with my Mr Policeman in my heart. 9 more days! Okay, I hate no. 9 now. Not no. 10 anymore.

Oh no! His free time ending soon!

Wherever you go I will be waiting..

Nearing.

Happy 22nd anniversary dearest Mama & Ayah! You both were the
best any other children could ever have. I love you both till my
last breath.

I don't really understand of my own feelings. Sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not. How? Kill myself? Take some drugs? Slash my hand? HAHA! Merepek kay like that. There’s no way I’m gonna do such thing.

And can people around me don't get anymore cruel by reminding me of the date. Even my pass concession plays evil with me; valid till 6 January 2009.





Or maybe I’m like this is because the day is drawing near.



He didn’t realise that, just that.

I gotta act strong even though I know I'm not..

Catching-up session.

On the first day of 2009, I met up with my Hammies. We had our laughs and as usual, have a lot to share may it be hot gossips, important information and most of the non-important information were from Rabi’atul.





These little catch-ups are a nice thing to do. I want more!

Atiqah, at the end of this month I’ll contact you every single day just to have a feel of riding bike with you. Take me around Singapore okay! Yeay! Idayu, Rabi’atul, aku first kay! Aku kan kakak antara korang dua! Haha!

Muhammad Firdaus, I know I’m sucha pain. Get well soon okay! Don’t worry about me. And Rivermaya plays You’ll Be Safe Here; the song you dedicated it to me as an opening for 2009 last night on Marina Bay Countdown. Cool kan? I like tau!

I took out all my hair extension already! Now my hair’s short. Should I have it cut shorter or stay it this way?

Because these days aren’t easy..