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RADIN SHAZWANI
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And so it ends blissfully.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Muhammad Firdaus and me are through this time. Thank you Dear Allah for lending me some courage to overcome this all by myself even though I know I cried a river.

So this is the best. I told him I'd change his name back to Tom, not Dearest Love or even Dearest Friend anymore. But I don't have the heart to do it now. Maybe I'll change it soon. But he'll forever be my ever Dearest Love in my mind and in my heart.

I told him he's my worst mistakes but before that I'd like to return him the things he gave me so I wouldn't hold onto the memories we shared. But to think about it again, he's my very best boyfriend. Why would I? I'd might as well throw my intentions away and keep it as my beautiest memory ever.

Maybe I did swear him just now but on the second thought, he's not that evil. He don't wish to see me get hurt and he don't want to hurt me any further, so this decision we made is for our own good.

Even though I know I've typed this all with gallons of tears in my eyes, never once I regret meeting him. Never once I regret loving him. This is just my worst mistakes for falling in love with him because it's really not easy to let go but for the love of my life, I'll try my very best.

To make him happy, I'd sacrifice even if it kills me. I'll try to act strong even though I know I am genuinely weak. I am happy to know he's happy. I've said my final goodbye. I've said my very last "i love you".

Now friends, help me move on please! =)

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.