I am trying my very best to stay far away from my phone. I want to respect Muhammad Firdaus decision so much. I don't want to hurt him more. I am going to wait until he comes back to me.
I don't know how I look like to school today. Some say I look very pale. Some say I just got up from bed. Some ask me if I'm sick. Some ask me why am I so emo. Some ask me not to be sad. Some ask me not to cry. Some offer me a hug but sadly, I rejected. Some really wants to know why am I like this. Some even tears up with me without knowing my problems.
Anterine offered me Ribena to cheer up and even do up some jokes. She's the one whom I can share with and she gave me the bestest advice. She says every positive thing about why Muhammad Firdaus did this.
One of the point she gave that shot up my brain is, "You must be thankful that no matter how much you want him to come back, he will one day. Unlike me, no matter how long I got to wait for my dad to come back, he will never do."
She even say that Muhammad Firdaus still wants me, just that he need to be alone for sometime to make things right and who knows he's doing this for the best of both of us.
Still I regret for every bad things that happened. Then she said, everything happens for a reason. In every relationship, couples are sure to fight. It is good to fight. If they don't fight, they don't love. And she told me of her friend who always fight and in the end, they learn their mistakes from that fight and love each other more.
Now I've learned my mistakes. Muhammad Firdaus, please keep loving me the way I love you loving me.
Baby, you are the only weapon I choose.