Then I told him about his sweater, "I think I know your reasons. Cause I've been sleeping with it then I drool on it then you don't want it cause it smells kn? =D k la i keep."
Notice something? I was just tryna joke when on the actual fact, I am feeling veryvery down. I've tried my very best to make this last conversation with him a happy one. So by that, I think I am already strong. I am proud of myself. So I go on further.
I go on further to agree on keeping the things he gave me then I asked him to smile for me. Eventually, he did. Tell me how can I not breakdown? He's just too good for me. And he doesn't know how I missed his smile. So much.
Then again, I thought I could go on still. So I continued telling him he's just the best boyfriend I've ever had and I'm glad we split in good terms. I asked him to get well soon and to take care of himself as he said he's been quarantined. Together with my last good night and kiss.
I smiled. My heart felt lighter. I thought I'd end the conversation. But he replied me with a kiss too. Now tell me tell me tell me! Is it wrong if I cried? It's our last. It's our very last and I cried. Tell me am I wrong?
I cried not because I regret. I cried because I miss him. I just miss him. I miss the old times. Just that. And....Yeah, I miss us.
Mama asked if I cried. As much as I tried not leaving a drop of tears on my face, she still notice it. I told her everything. And I realised she tried her best to make me laugh last night and even earlier today. She's just the best to be there with me and make me, me.
Not forgetting, to all of my friends especially the girls I am very close with, the girls I called them bestfriends, thank you. I am lucky enough to have you people with me. You've always been there for me.
As for now, I believe that time will heal. I want to believe that time will heal. Dear Allah, help me heal. I'm still trying. Yes I am weak, but I will keep on trying.
The song Seribu Kenangan by DidiCazli posted on my blog really suites the situation I am in now. =)
But how do I get better once I've had the best?